Hello, to who (or is it whom?) ever is reading this blog. I have no idea what kind of audience (if any) I will find. Do you support or oppose barefeet? Or do you have only few ideas on the subject matter? Or are you looking to see a different point of view on it? To be honest, I don't even know if I'll be brave enough to click the "publish" button when I finish writing this. Sharing postings with the open world is a little daunting, no matter what the subject matter. Regardless, here it is. And here you are. So once again, hello. As the title of this blog states, I am the wife of a barefoot man. My husband has recently decided to take on the barefoot lifestyle. A choice I simultaneously support and shake my head at. So far it's been a strange journey. First, a little about us. My husband and I have been married for nearly three years. Happily, I might add. We have a sweet, adorable, 11 month old wrecking ball of super cute chaos. A few months after we got married we moved to New York City. My husband is a New Yorker through and through (a Queens boy, to be exact). After almost three years I'd say I'm starting to get used to the city. I hail from the Shire-like countryside of Virginia. But back to the feet. Shoes have always been a problem for mh (my husband). With size 13 extra extra extra wide stompers he's had to order custom made shoes, which are both expensive and difficult to repair. And so, feeling frustrated and piggy prisoned, he kicked off his size 13WWW's and let his feet go commando.
I know how hard it is for mh to deal with shoes. He has abnormally wide feet and shoes literally are a pain. But let me tell you, being the wife of a barefoot man does also take it's toll. Now, mh is used to the looks, stares, and questions he gets with walking around the city foot naked, but I find that more people ask me about his barefeet than him. I request that he carry an emergency pair of shoes with him in case we want to go in to a public establishment that requires shoes. And the dirt is ... well, it's just plain gross.
Mh has more reasons for the barefoot lifestyle than just his funky shoe size. Medically it's supposed to be healthier for your back and legs. And, as he has pointed out in every shoe argument we have, people invented shoes, they are "not natural," and our feet have weakened from evolving to wear shoes. He has also stated that shoes are more a social practice that he feels people shouldn't have to blindly conform to. I understand and support his views, but that being said I love my shoes. And I am not taking steps (pun a little bit intended) toward a barefoot lifestyle.
The questions we get from random strangers always seem to catch me off guard. Some amuse me. Others anger me. And to be honest, no matter what the question or comment, I never really know what to say. Just today someone tapped me on the arm and asked me if mh's feet were cold. I just shrugged and said, "They don't seem to be." This person asked with bemusement. Though there are people who ask/say things with genuine concern, and those that seem confused and even confrontational. I truly hate when people ask me why I let him leave the house like that. That's the one that always gets me heated up. Let him leave the house that way? Let him? He's a grown man. I already have to dress myself and my son. Why would I want to take the time to dress a person who is fully capable of doing it himself? So far, I've never let my anger get the better of me. I just smile and say something like, "I don't know what to tell ya," or, "Well, that's my crazy husband for you." What I want to say is, "If you dress your spouse then there are some serious control issues you may want to work out." Mh is charismatic and quick witted. He always has a good comeback. I'm the kind of person that thinks of a good thing to say about 30 seconds too late.
Mh has been very good about humoring me by carrying shoes with him when we go out somewhere. Having a little one makes it easy to hide them among all the baby stuff we have to take with us. I never ask him to put them on when we're outside, but if we want to go into a store or restaurant he'll slip them on. Local delis and his favorite pizza place don't really say anything. Mh is a pretty well known guy in our corner of the world through his work and volunteer stuff, so we are on a first name basis with quite a few of the closer establishments, which makes going barefoot easier to get away with. "Oh that's just Bigfoot," I've heard the guy at the deli on the corner say to someone who commented. But other places, especially those bigger company businesses like grocery stores, restaurants, etc., will (and have) make a stink about it. If there's a sign posted, mh will always put shoes on before entering. But every now and then he likes to see just how far he can get before someone tells him he has to either put on shoes or exit the building. He wanted to test the waters at one of my new found favorite ramen restaurants in Manhattan, but I adamantly asked him to put on his moccasins because I really didn't want to eat anywhere else today and we were meeting people in the restaurant. It just would have been weird to go in, meet up with our friends, and have to leave seconds later to go find a new place to eat. Though he did make the point that if any place would encourage you to take off your shoes, it'd be a Japanese place. (Pssst... that was one of my 'shaking my head' moments.) After lunch mh and I ducked into a bookstore to change our son's diaper. As I was stuffing a fresh diaper (if you've ever used/seen fuzzibunz brand cloth diapers you know what I mean by "stuffing") and getting other baby changing things ready, a member of security approached us and asked mh where his shoes were. He said he didn't wear shoes. The security guard said he needed shoes on his feet to stay. Our son was overdue for a change so he didn't press the issue. He just made some back of the throat noise and put on his moccasins. Though I'm sure that if the situation was a little different he would have argued with her. So far, I've never witnessed him debating with an owner or staff member of an establishment. He's come home and told me about it, so it has happened, but I've never had to witness it. I fully admit that his choices and his vocality about his choices, especially when they result in confrontation, can be embarrassing and alarming for me. I know people say you shouldn't worry about what other people think of you, but I can't help it. I can't help it any more than mh can help having feet that don't fit in "normal" shoes. I try not to let it get to me. The stares and quizzical smiles are one thing, but when people approach us, it's hard for me not to blush a little.
The big complaint I have about mh's foot naked life is the dirt he tracks in. Sure, everyone tracks in dirt on their shoes, but his feet get so filthy so quickly and he doesn't have the luxury of just leaving them in the hall. He's very good about washing his feet at the end of the day. But, he's only human, and sometimes he just gets too tired at the end of the night before he crashes in bed. A few times I've woken up in the morning to find his side of the bed blackened with sidewalk filth. Frankly, it's gross. And wearing shoes means I don't have to be all that careful about what I step in. He says that being barefoot makes him more aware of what is on the ground, but he's also stepped in poop and other disgusting things here and there. Walking on the carpet, taking the time to wash his feet, or forgetting to wash them and staining the bed sheets is a hassle to say the least. Mh is the kind of person that wants everything to be convenient. For example, he put his tie rack up at our front door under the key holder so he could grab a tie on the way out to work. Getting a tie out from the closet was a step he felt he didn't have to take because it wasn't convenient enough. When he and I were talking about me writing this blog, I told him my complaints about his shoelessness. He said he wanted to come up with a foot washing station in the hall so he wouldn't have to take those extra steps to appeasing my senses. Personally, I think that if you're going to go through the trouble of doing what's less convenient by going barefoot in a shoe wearing world, you should be willing to make that extra effort to keeping your house clean and your wife sane. But that's just me.
Again, dear readers (shoeless and otherwise), welcome to my blog. I can not commit to posting with any regularity. I can only sit down to type when my son is asleep and most of his nap times are already dedicated to housework catch up. But I will write when I can. Most of this blog, btw, will probably be filled with how mh's barefeet affect other people and what they have to say about it (good or bad). And, of course, what I have to say about it (good or bad). All I have to say about it right now is I think mh is very brave to do what he believes in, and even braver for doing it in front of our 8.5 million NYC neighbors. And while I truly do think mh is brave, I also think he's a little weird. I make no allusions or harbor any pretenses that this is my choice. It's his. I respect him, I love him, I trust him, but by joe I think he's a little nutty. Like I said, it's a strange journey, being the wife of a barefoot man.
