Toes on TV

So, this commercial plays on Hulu+ a lot.  Of course, it strikes a rather personal chord with my husband and me.  We get pretty annoyed every time we see it.  It's rather obvious why it bothers us.  To claim that wearing minimal shoes is better than being barefoot is pretty darn inaccurate.  As you see in the commercial, which I have linked below, a Kung-Fu master steps on an acorn and lets out a rather humorous cry.  If he were truly adapt to a barefoot lifestyle, an acorn on what appears to be a soft, moist earthen floor would not be an issue, especially for someone who is supposed to be trained in martial arts, which is practiced sans shoes.  Okay, I'm not completely insane.  I know this is just a commercial and yeah, it's kinda cute.  But every time we see it I swear I hear mh growl a little.

On the flip side, however, my son and I were watching Sesame Street one rainy day and this song came on.  It, too, struck a personal chord, but this was a much happier one.  I played it for mh when he got home.  We usually keep our son barefoot if we are in our own house/yard, but he wears footwear at the park and on concrete and out in places he'll be walking.  He still has super soft baby skin, though he does seem to fancy a shoeless lifestyle (just like daddy!).  He has begun to take off his socks and shoes when he's in the stroller, car-seat, or at home.  When he tugs at his socks (and at times we are okay with him discarding his footwear) we'll sing this song.  We feel it's beneficial for him to experience skin to earth contact (my god, I sound like such a hippie mom...).  He began walking when he was only 7 months old, and I wonder if it's because he has never worn standard shoes.  He wears moccasins, which shape to his foot (as opposed to hard soled shoes that make the wearer's foot eventually shape to it).  Regardless, this song was a little ray of sunshine on our feet.

Barefoot And Pregnant

  My husband and I have been trying to lead healthier lifestyles.  We're both trying to eat healthier.  He's been out jogging every other day, along with riding his bike instead of driving to where ever he needs to go.  And we've been taking advantage of the mild winter weather and hiking through local trails.  Hiking is an activity I really enjoy.  Mh and I live in New York City, but I'm not from here.  I grew up in rural areas where 5 cars on the road is heavy traffic.  So, for me, hiking is more than just good exercise and fresh air.  It's a chance to get back to where I feel I belong.  

  The only exercise I do barefoot (at the moment) is Yoga.  My husband, however, does almost all of his exercising foot-naked.  A few years ago, we attempted to become joggers with, unfortunately, laughable results.  I gave up the day I puked in our neighbor's yard.  Mh gave up when his knees started to give him problems.  He's a pretty heavy guy and the stress was just too much for his joints.  Now that he has adopted a barefoot lifestyle, he says the issues with his knees has actually decreased to nearly vanished when he's jogging.  The way you step with shoes on is quite different from the way you step while barefoot, and his natural step has made jogging a lot easier on his knees.  At this point, however, I have not tried jogging again (for many reasons).  Mh does his jogging at our local park on the perimeter of a soccer field.  When the weather is nice, he jogs while our son and I play in the playground.  Our son is 1 year old, so someone has to be with him all the time.  That being said, our son is 1 year old and I feel like I get a pretty good work out just running after him in the park.  And mh gets some time alone to let his mind be at peace while his body is becoming healthier.  

  I said mh does almost all of his exercising barefoot, because the one he wears his moccasins for is biking.  The pedals on his bike are jagged.  They are constructed that way to intentionally dig into the bottoms of shoes to provide traction.  But they're murder on the bottoms of his feet.  Very recently mh saw pedals made specifically for barefoot bikers, which have a smooth and solid surface.  They aren't very expensive, so he ordered a pair and we're waiting for them to arrive.  Again, biking is something mh does alone.  I have a bike, but I don't feel comfortable biking along city streets.  That, and he tends to ride dangerously, weaving in between cars and zooming along at high speeds that I would have a serious problem keeping up with.  What can I say, he's a city boy through and through.

  Mh lets me get some alone time with my activities, too.  I do Yoga from a program on our streaming Netflix, and I go for walks to work my legs and clear my head.  As much as we try to give each other their time, we greatly enjoy our family work-outs.  We all love hiking.  It's an experience we feel connects us to each other and to the Earth (I realize how hippie that sounds).  Our latest hike was about 3 miles on a local trail.  We've done this particular trail a few times now.  Mh hikes barefoot, which has been going well for him.  The only problem is that parts of the trail were once paved (Lord knows why someone would pave a nature trail) and the asphalt is old and jagged and there are spots where it's been broken up in, what I'm assuming, is an attempt to bring the trail back to a natural state.  Those spots are difficult for mh to traverse.  Everywhere else (even the litter and broken glass that people discard here and there) has been a nonissue for him.  He enjoys feeling the different terrain beneath his feet.  There are spots that are covered with fallen leaves, and spots that are overgrown with soft moss.  There are places where the ground is hard and cold and others where the earth is overturned and cool, soft soil is exposed.  Barefoot hiking has, as he says, provided him with a unique connection to the forest.  Which, I think is pretty cool.

  Neither my husband nor I are the most fit of people.  We could both stand to lose a few pounds (okay, maybe more than just a few).  And, I'm embarrassed to say, we're both a bit lazy.  But we've been trying very hard to turn it around.  Mh has already lost 20 pounds and I have noticed that I'm getting stronger.  We want to be healthier in body and mind, not just for ourselves but for our son.  And for his soon to be baby brother or sister!  Yes, I am happy to announce that we are expecting a new baby.  He or she is due to arrive on the 4th of July.  As with my previous pregnancy, we don't plan on finding out the sex of the baby.  Though we are eagerly waiting to see those cute little barefeet on the next sonogram.

Vibram 5 Fingers And Why They Stink

  Since I've known my husband he has had trouble finding shoes that are both comfortable and durable.  While an average person goes through maybe two pairs of shoes in a few years, he goes through two pairs of shoes in about four months.  He is extremely wide footed and, as I have heard from his mother, shoe shopping has always been a hassle for him ever since he was very little.  When I first met him (back in 2005) he had a pair of sneakers from Dave & Barry's and a pair of sandals.  His sneakers quickly wore out and after a while he went exclusively to sandals.  Unless he absolutely needed closed toe shoes (which he wore for an interview and at one funeral), he was always in either sandals or nothing at all.  He even made the dress code for he and his groomsmen at our wedding shorts and sandals (which was actually quite handsome).  

  Before he became dedicated to the barefoot lifestyle, mh had been seeking minimalist shoes.  When he first learned about the Vibram 5 Fingers he was extremely excited to own a pair.  He went to Hudson Trail Outfitters and tried on a pair and, as we were just starting out in our first apartment back then, saved up for them.  He loved them.  They were shoes that actually fit his abnormally wide feet and (according to him) they felt like the closest thing to being barefoot while still wearing shoes.  He literally wore them until they fell apart, despite the various times I attempted to perform surgery on them to patch them up.  

  Here's my problem with the Vibram 5 Fingers:  they STINK!  They are the smelliest shoes I've ever encountered.  My husband learned about how to properly care for the shoes, washed them regularly, and put powder in them to keep them dry during his wear and they never lost their stench.  We read that the smell was due to a bacterial build-up and we tried a few methods to remedy the problem, but nothing ever helped.  Now that my husband is a barefooter his feet haven't smelled (except for normal and minimal foot stink).  I thank heaven that he finally did away with the Vibrams just because of their foul odor.  Whenever I am upset about how the world reacts to my husband being barefoot just about everywhere, and all the strange things we deal with as a result, I remember that unholy smell and thank my lucky stars that he'd rather be barefoot than in those garbage scented foot gloves!

  After my husband finally conceded to the fact that the 5 Fingers were no longer welcome in our home, he began to seek other solutions.  For years he'd been dying for a pair of moccasins he saw at a Renaissance Faire.  They are leather with sheep's skin interior and completely custom made to fit your foot.  They, however, were roughly $600.  So, instead, he researched leather minimalist shoes and found a company called Soft Star Moccasins.  They are also custom fit, but unlike the Catskill's moccasins sold at the Ren Faire, they are made by measurement as opposed to using a mold of your foot for a completely true fit.  They do, however, provide a soft and natural feel.  And you can get them in just about any color you want.  Mh's favorite color is red, so naturally he went with a bright red accented with a dark brown.  The majority of people (in this country, at least) don't wear moccasins, so he would still get funny looks when he wore them (nothing compared to the stares he gets from his barefeet, however).  And to be honest, they look like cartoon shoes.  These are what he carries when he takes "an emergency pair of shoes" with him.  

  A couple years ago I saved up some money and made a hefty deposit to the Catskill's vendor at the Renaissance Faire.  My husband got a mold made of his foot and his boots were ordered.  Little by little we made payments of $10 or $20, with a 3 year estimate of ultimately paying them off.  But on his first father's day, my mom paid the balance of what we still owed and within 2 months he recieved his completely custom made knee high leather boots.  He wears his boots when he goes camping, or on days when it is exceptionally cold out (I think it was 12 degrees the last time he wore them).  He is trying to go barefoot just about everywhere, but he does get good use out of his boots.  Plus, he can wear them to work, as they aren't out of the norm when pants are covering the leg part.  The Catskill Moccasins are said to last for well over 20 years.  

  Just recently, mh read about paper shoes.  He was lucky enough to receive a code for a free pair of sandals made from billboard paper.  We'll see how they work out.  In addition to these, he is also working on a homemade pair of sandals constructed out of a thin welcome matt (purchased at IKEA) and nylon or silken rope.  As with the paper sandals, I'll let you know how they turn out.

  For a barefoot man, my husband seems to own quite a few pairs of shoes.  He generally tries to remain foot-naked most of the time, but when he needs to wear shoes, he has two good pair of moccasins and will soon have two pairs of minimal sandals.  And never again will he have a pair of stinky toe shoes!

Leave Nothing But Footprints

  I love my husband.  I love every part of him, from the top of his head down to his stinky, dirty, naked feet.  I have said it before, but I want to say it again.  I love him.  One thing I really love about him is his dedication to his beliefs and ideals.  Even when others don't or can't understand.  And it seems like there is a lot of confusion and objection to his choice of being barefoot.  And I think that's the hardest part of walking side by side with mh.  I want to be supportive.  I want to be strong enough to ignore the comments and double-takes.  And smart enough to answer questions intelligently.  But sometimes it's pretty rough.

  You would think New Yorkers would be used to seeing the absurd and yet...  The comments and questions are uncomfortable enough, but people take pictures of mh, which I personally find intrusive.  One of the many people who took pictures of us today while we were on the subway happened to be a friend of a friend.  She uploaded the picture to her facebook profile and captioned it, "Only in New York."  Our friend called mh and told him to look at his facebook page, as he had shared the photo.  He and mh were excited about seeing it and mh took it in good humor.  He tagged himself (and me) in the photo and commented that he thought he looked pretty good in the picture.  Within minutes (literally minutes) my phone lit up with a string of comments from several people.  I untagged myself simply because I was sick of hearing the facebook notice tone chirping on my phone and seeing negative comment after negative comment.  Besides, I hate being tagged in photos uploaded by people I don't even know (and who don't know me).  As of this moment there are 22 comments branching from this picture.  

  The pictures are easy to laugh off.  The comments, not so much.  Every single person who commented (correction:  every friend of ours that commented) had something to say about how gross it is or how dangerous.  Not a single person seemed willing to learn or hear more about why being barefoot is not a health threat despite my husband's replies about barefoot benefits and lack of danger.  I try not let things like this bother me, but it's hard not to be phased by close-mindedness.  

  Speaking of close-mindedness...  My husband goes just about everywhere barefoot and there are several establishments that claim they have a "No Barefoot" rule when they tell mh he needs to wear shoes upon entering.  One such place is our local bank where my husband's mother has account.  She is in poor health and mh and I run errands for her a lot.  Mh went into the bank for her on Friday and was approached by the bank manager who told him he must wear shoes if he wished to stay in the building.  Mh asked if there was a specific rule about it and the manager, who insisted, told him that yes there is a shoe requirement.  My husband, being the persistant man he is, said he wanted to see, in writing, the policy that stated that shoes are required.  The manager said he would have a copy ready on Monday.  Like I said, I love him, but if I had actually been there for this I think my face would have been about the color of a tomato.  When he got home and told me all of this, I asked him what happened next.  He said he finished his business at the bank and the manager told him to bring shoes next time he comes.  He also said the security guard came over as the bank manager was speaking to him and mentioned that he watched the show "Duel Survival," and asked mh if he'd ever seen it.  Mh said he'd seen an episode but hadn't watched more than that.  As a side note, he said the bank manager seemed a little miffed that the security guard found my husband's barefeet interesting as opposed to just being the proverbial brick wall that would keep mh at bay (not that there was any real conflict.  Mh isn't the type to get in someone's face, he's just generous with the question "Why?" which I understand makes a lot of people frustrated).  My husband said he'd come back on Monday because he was interested to see the rules sheet the manager described.  He also gave the manager his email address.  Before Monday came, my husband received an email from the bank's customer service department saying that they require a reasonable standard of attire and footwear and they do not need to have such a policy posted to refuse service to those who do not wish to comply.  They did say, however, that if there was a medical condition that prevented him from wearing shoes that they'd be willing to discuss how to proceed in conducting transactions in the future.  It was all very bureaucratic.  Since this is a bank where we have to do business for my mother-in-law on a regular basis we can't just boycott.  Though, mh has been to our bank barefoot many times and has never been approached.  He has even gone in with our dog.  We use TD Bank, by the way, just so all you barefooters out there know which bank won't cause a stink (at least our location doesn't).  

  We find a lot of confrontation with larger establishments like this.  But every now and then there is a sweet surprise that makes us feel a little better about his barefoot choice.  Yesterday, mh and I went to IKEA where he entered (as per usual) without shoes.  One of the managers quickly approached us and said, "Sir, I see you aren't wearing shoes.  Legally I have have to inform you that this is a warehouse where there could possibly be glass or nails on the floor and any damage to your feet will not be held accountable by IKEA."  Mh happily responded, "I'm completely aware and I take any responsibility if my feet get hurt.  I go barefoot pretty much everywhere."  The man said okay and told us to enjoy our day at IKEA.  Mh and I were so pleasantly surprised at how the situation was handled that he wrote a praising letter to the head of IKEA explaining how welcomed he felt and what a wonderful shopping experience we had.  I don't know if every IKEA location would handle a foot naked situation similarly, but our experience with that particular location (Hicksville, NY) left us very happy with the company.

  I think my husband is very brave.  Not only does he allow his feet to be exposed to the elements and conditions of the city, but he allows himself to be exposed to the much harsher human element.  You know that old saying "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me"?  What a lie...  I think words can do so much more harm than most wounds.  I know I may sound like I have a very soft exterior, but it's difficult when your friends just don't understand a life choice and a big part of who you are.  Now, I myself am not a barefooter, but when I'm with my husband (which is most of the time), I may as well be.  His choices affect my and my son's life in very strong ways.  I stand by my husband.  It's a difficult terrain, but his path is my path.  And he stands by me and my choices.  

Baby Steps And Naked Toes

  Hello, to who (or is it whom?) ever is reading this blog.  I have no idea what kind of audience (if any) I will find.  Do you support or oppose barefeet?  Or do you have only few ideas on the subject matter?  Or are you looking to see a different point of view on it?  To be honest, I don't even know if I'll be brave enough to click the "publish" button when I finish writing this.  Sharing postings with the open world is a little daunting, no matter what the subject matter.  Regardless, here it is.  And here you are.  So once again, hello.  As the title of this blog states, I am the wife of a barefoot man.  My husband has recently decided to take on the barefoot lifestyle.  A choice I simultaneously support and shake my head at.  So far it's been a strange journey.  First, a little about us.  My husband and I have been married for nearly three years.  Happily, I might add.  We have a sweet, adorable, 11 month old wrecking ball of super cute chaos.  A few months after we got married we moved to New York City.  My husband is a New Yorker through and through (a Queens boy, to be exact).  After almost three years I'd say I'm starting to get used to the city.  I hail from the Shire-like countryside of Virginia.  But back to the feet.  Shoes have always been a problem for mh (my husband).  With size 13 extra extra extra wide stompers he's had to order custom made shoes, which are both expensive and difficult to repair.  And so, feeling frustrated and piggy prisoned, he kicked off his size 13WWW's and let his feet go commando.  

  I know how hard it is for mh to deal with shoes.  He has abnormally wide feet and shoes literally are a pain.  But let me tell you, being the wife of a barefoot man does also take it's toll.  Now, mh is used to the looks, stares, and questions he gets with walking around the city foot naked, but I find that more people ask me about his barefeet than him.  I request that he carry an emergency pair of shoes with him in case we want to go in to a public establishment that requires shoes.  And the dirt is ... well, it's just plain gross.

  Mh has more reasons for the barefoot lifestyle than just his funky shoe size.  Medically it's supposed to be healthier for your back and legs.  And, as he has pointed out in every shoe argument we have, people  invented shoes, they are "not natural," and our feet have weakened from evolving to wear shoes.  He has also stated that shoes are more a social practice that he feels people shouldn't have to blindly conform to. I understand and support his views, but that being said I love my shoes.  And I am not taking steps (pun a little bit intended) toward a barefoot lifestyle.  

  The questions we get from random strangers always seem to catch me off guard.  Some amuse me.  Others anger me.  And to be honest, no matter what the question or comment, I never really know what to say.  Just today someone tapped me on the arm and asked me if mh's feet were cold.  I just shrugged and said, "They don't seem to be."  This person asked with bemusement.  Though there are people who ask/say things with genuine concern, and those that seem confused and even confrontational.  I truly hate when people ask me why I let him leave the house like that.  That's the one that always gets me heated up.  Let him leave the house that way?  Let him?  He's a grown man.  I already have to dress myself and my son.  Why would I want to take the time to dress a person who is fully capable of doing it himself?  So far, I've never let my anger get the better of me.  I just smile and say something like, "I don't know what to tell ya," or, "Well, that's my crazy husband for you."  What I want to say is, "If you dress your spouse then there are some serious control issues you may want to work out."  Mh is charismatic and quick witted.  He always has a good comeback.  I'm the kind of person that thinks of a good thing to say about 30 seconds too late.  

  Mh has been very good about humoring me by carrying shoes with him when we go out somewhere.  Having a little one makes it easy to hide them among all the baby stuff we have to take with us.  I never ask him to put them on when we're outside, but if we want to go into a store or restaurant he'll slip them on.  Local delis and his favorite pizza place don't really say anything.  Mh is a pretty well known guy in our corner of the world through his work and volunteer stuff, so we are on a first name basis with quite a few of the closer establishments, which makes going barefoot easier to get away with.  "Oh that's just Bigfoot," I've heard the guy at the deli on the corner say to someone who commented.  But other places, especially those bigger company businesses like grocery stores, restaurants, etc., will (and have) make a stink about it.  If there's a sign posted, mh will always put shoes on before entering.  But every now and then he likes to see just how far he can get before someone tells him he has to either put on shoes or exit the building.  He wanted to test the waters at one of my new found favorite ramen restaurants in Manhattan, but I adamantly asked him to put on his moccasins because I really didn't want to eat anywhere else today and we were meeting people in the restaurant.  It just would have been weird to go in, meet up with our friends, and have to leave seconds later to go find a new place to eat.  Though he did make the point that if any place would encourage you to take off your shoes, it'd be a Japanese place.  (Pssst... that was one of my 'shaking my head' moments.)  After lunch mh and I ducked into a bookstore to change our son's diaper.  As I was stuffing a fresh diaper (if you've ever used/seen fuzzibunz brand cloth diapers you know what I mean by "stuffing") and getting other baby changing things ready, a member of security approached us and asked mh where his shoes were.  He said he didn't wear shoes.  The security guard said he needed shoes on his feet to stay.  Our son was overdue for a change so he didn't press the issue.  He just made some back of the throat noise and put on his moccasins.  Though I'm sure that if the situation was a little different he would have argued with her.  So far, I've never witnessed him debating with an owner or staff member of an establishment.  He's come home and told me about it, so it has happened, but I've never had to witness it.  I fully admit that his choices and his vocality about his choices, especially when they result in confrontation, can be embarrassing and alarming for me.  I know people say you shouldn't worry about what other people think of you, but I can't help it.  I can't help it any more than mh can help having feet that don't fit in "normal" shoes.  I try not to let it get to me.  The stares and quizzical smiles are one thing, but when people approach us, it's hard for me not to blush a little.

  The big complaint I have about mh's foot naked life is the dirt he tracks in.  Sure, everyone tracks in dirt on their shoes, but his feet get so filthy so quickly and he doesn't have the luxury of just leaving them in the hall.  He's very good about washing his feet at the end of the day.  But, he's only human, and sometimes he just gets too tired at the end of the night before he crashes in bed.  A few times I've woken up in the morning to find his side of the bed blackened with sidewalk filth.  Frankly, it's gross.  And wearing shoes means I don't have to be all that careful about what I step in.  He says that being barefoot makes him more aware of what is on the ground, but he's also stepped in poop and other disgusting things here and there.  Walking on the carpet, taking the time to wash his feet, or forgetting to wash them and staining the bed sheets is a hassle to say the least.  Mh is the kind of person that wants everything to be convenient.  For example, he put his tie rack up at our front door under the key holder so he could grab a tie on the way out to work.  Getting a tie out from the closet was a step he felt he didn't have to take because it wasn't convenient enough.  When he and I were talking about me writing this blog, I told him my complaints about his shoelessness.  He said he wanted to come up with a foot washing station in the hall so he wouldn't have to take those extra steps to appeasing my senses.  Personally, I think that if you're going to go through the trouble of doing what's less convenient by going barefoot in a shoe wearing world, you should be willing to make that extra effort to keeping your house clean and your wife sane.  But that's just me.  

  Again, dear readers (shoeless and otherwise), welcome to my blog.  I can not commit to posting with any regularity.  I can only sit down to type when my son is asleep and most of his nap times are already dedicated to housework catch up.  But I will write when I can.  Most of this blog, btw, will probably be filled with how mh's barefeet affect other people and what they have to say about it (good or bad).  And, of course, what I have to say about it (good or bad).  All I have to say about it right now is I think mh is very brave to do what he believes in, and even braver for doing it in front of our 8.5 million NYC neighbors.  And while I truly do think mh is brave, I also think he's a little weird.  I make no allusions or harbor any pretenses that this is my choice.  It's his.  I respect him, I love him, I trust him, but by joe I think he's a little nutty.  Like I said, it's a strange journey, being the wife of a barefoot man.